Empty

Dear Blogosphere,

My bedroom is looking rather bare. My shelves are mostly empty, closet full of hangers, nothing on my dry erase boards... it feels strange.

I guess the weirdest thing is to be making a move where I don't need to pack everything. I get to leave stuff behind, like my snow boots.

So there is going to be a giant sobfest on Friday when I see my older sister and brother for the last time until Thanksgiving! And on Saturday morning, there will an even bigger sobfest when I say goodbye to my little sister and my rabbit. And on Monday, I will be in pieces when my mom leaves for the drive back to Salt Lake. I can already see myself. Standing alone in 390 square feet with boxes.

Just keep moving.

So, a couple of things have led me to kind of be low lately. My mum keeps bringing up how hard it is to plan meals for someone who can't eat gluten and is trying to cut down on red meat. And then I was sort of rejected by a guy for not being worthwhile. My words... paraphrased. But I am feeling great because, today, I was talking to my good friend Arie and he was depressed because he got a rejection letter from a grad program he applied to. We talked about applying to grad school and getting rejected for a while and I told him that it sucks and some days you just gotta lay in bed, letter in hand, with tears in your eyes.

After a while, he told me that I had (and I paraphrase) cheered him up. And that it was so good that I was a step ahead in the world and that I am exactly what everybody needs. He didn't know about the thoughts going through my head or anything going on but it just meant a lot to me to help brighten someone's day and get complemented like that. I'm not one to get completely wrapped up in what people think of me, but I have felt like a huge bother to so many people lately that it feels great to be appreciated and wanted. I love you, Arie!

Ok, so now that it is 4 AM, I am going to dig my way to my bed, curl up with a book, and rapidly fall asleep.

-Natalie