Always goes by fast, says my mom. Which is bad news, bad news indeed. Today is rapidly coming to an end and I didn't get nearly enough done. I did however clean my kitchen. I probably shouldn't have but I feel so much better about life and existence when my apartment doesn't look like it's straight from Hoarders (don't worry, that's an exaggeration).

Anyway, I spent about an hour today getting organized. Last night, I needed to find my transcripts from undergrad, GRE scores, CVs, etc, so I went looking for them on my computer. You'd like to know that I have six folders titled "Grad School" containing various things from two years ago. So I got those folders organized. My Gmail inbox had fifty emails of importance. Fifty. So I got those organized. I also realized last night that I have four actual physical folders of important papers. Clearly my system of "important things folder 1... n" is failing. It's moments like these that I realize adulthood is so, so overrated. Yes, independence is fabulous but keeping track of all this shit is a nightmare.

I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I really should have worked harder in October. I have only myself to blame. Here's what November has in store:

Completed draft of thesis
Two sixteen page papers
Reading... lots of reading
Sharpening curriculum vitae
Personal and research statements
Putting together four PhD applications
Fixing and resubmitting IRB forms
Stats presentation

This is why I'm reinstating my social media and media time limits from winter quarter. Fifteen minutes per day for Facebook. Thirty minutes for blogging + blog following. If I can stick to those, I can keep up on my two shows (Dexter and Community).

I have to keep to my eyes on the prize. I really, really want to continue my graduate education. There is nothing else in this world that I want to do (career-wise) more than research. I love asking and answering questions, I love academics, and I am beginning to love all the gray area. And just the possibility of getting the opportunity to continue my studies is certainly worth a month of hell. 

/End pep talk to self.

P.S. I am quite aware that my complaining is ridiculous and I hate that I even complain about the amount of work I have to do. Fact is, I like what I'm doing. AND I am so fortunate to have the opportunity and the support to do what I want to do. I am happy but a little overwhelmed.

1 remarks:

ssjung said...

Believe it or not, I like these posts the best. You're a real person and this is your real life!

If anyone can pull off a November like yours gracefully (and happily), it's you. Just sayin'...you're like, freakishly enduring and optimistic.